“I guess we fell apart in the usual way
And the story got dust in every page
Sometimes I wonder how you think about it now
And I see your face in every crowd”
I was known as a heartbreaker. Different month, different guy. Not like I didn’t know what people said behind my back. They’re nice—really were—in my face but badmouthed about me everytime I walked away. That’s why you should always be careful with people who were too nice to you.
Girls called me names. Not great names, of course, they were disgusting names. But well, at least they did it behind my back. I had this killer face, no wonder none of them was brave enough to confront me about this heartbreaker thing.
Boys wanted me. They called me names, too. Pretty disgusting, but you know, boys would forever be boys. It’s not my fault that I had this super ideal body. People said God made no mistakes, so why did they hate on me?
Out of the girls and boys I’d mentioned before, there’s a guy who never really left my mind. And heart. We were both juniors when I first saw him. He’s not really my type, if you asked, but I always fell for boys who liked me whether they’re curious or were really into me. I guessed that’s why I had too many exes and haters behind. It’s another story though.
At first, I didn’t realize he looked at me differently. He’s, like, super smart and mature while I was so popular and dumb. Bu then he changed his hairstyle and made me take a greater look at him. Plus, we had many same classes and.. and everything just happened. I couldn’t help but think he’d been a lot cooler and more good looking since that hairstyle changing.
Then we graduated. We’d never contacted each other since then. I kept his handkerchief, he kept his words. I’d dated other guys, he ‘s still single. I dyed my hair to brown, he kept his hair black. I was never a stalker, a true friend of mine told me. Okay, not really. I asked her about him as if it’s not that important while it really was.
I was going home from a vacation with my brand new lover. I was 100% sure this new lover was the one—as I always did to my exes—when I suddenly saw him. He wasn’t looking at me, luckily. I didn’t know what would happen if he did. So I made a quick decision.. I ran away. I knew it sounded not cool, I knew I wish I had run to him, but I wasn’t ready to face him after all these years. Not with that high school memories and feelings back.
Then luck left me, he saw me. For a second his eyes met with mine, and that’s enough. He started running to chase me but a bag helped me. His right foot accidentally hit it and he lost his balance. Some young boys were playing and running and somehow were indirectly helping me, too. It’s a pity to watch all his previous file papers fell from its place and him looked surprise, but that’s all I could really do.
“Hey, hun,” my new lover had unexpectedly been beside me, “you looked shocked. What happened?” Did I? “No, I..” I was breathless, so I took a breath and went, “it’s fine.” He raised his eyebrows. “Really?” he said, looked at me right in the eye. “Uh, I..” I looked away, “I can’t put it in words.” Finally a true statement. My lover shooked but said nothing. He led me to enter the train.
“New ideas, huh?” he said as the train was slowly moving by. I turned pages full of words in my small notebook, then looked through the window of this bussiness class room. “You kind of get used to it,” I replied as I finally found him in the sea of people. My lover laid his body on this wide, comfortable seat and said, “You’re a writer and you can’t put what you’ve just been through in words?” He’s talking about the moment I met an old ‘friend’. I shooked. He went again, “What would you write? You’ve got a blank space, baby.”
Still looking at him—tall body, trendy hairstyle, fashionable clothes, confused face, good looking guy—I whispered, “I’ll write your name…”
Rainbow Ride 