A Day in Seoul

#1

Did I have to be gone to be appreciated?

That thought had been haunting me.

Did I have to be broken to be fixed?

That thought had been saddening me.

Tonight.. on Mapo Bridge I was standing.

“How are you doing?”

“Have you eaten yet?”

“How’s your day?”

“Doesn’t it feel refreshing to be walking on the bridge?”

I used to hear a lot more comforting sentences than the ones written on the bridge. But why did I feel like they’re just mocking me?

In Seoul, city of idols. The city that inspired me the most. The city that had seen me broke down so many times. Which one would it do to me tonight?

I used to be liked and loved by the whole country, my voice was adored and praised, some said they got goosebumps once they listened to it.. now they didn’t even bother to greet me anymore.

What’s happening? Why’s life suddenly changed?

I was supposed to be the one that held my group together, but seemed like I was falling deeper on my own problems.

I raised my head, looking at the stars. Tonight’s stars were so pretty, they shined so glamorously. I wish I could be one of them, too.

You are a star.

Who said it? Who said that?

That I was a star?

It was my dream to be a star. I just didn’t know by being a star, it meant you’d have almost zero privacy. You’d be liked today and hated tomorrow.

It hurt and was tough at first. Reading the comment sections and read through hateful comments, it wasn’t that easy. Then after doing it, I had to perform on stage and acted like the nation still loved and adored me.

From my relationship to my group… people had to approve it first for me to go on further.

Did it have to be like that?

I was an artist, not a pleaser. I wanted to sing and do arts, not pleasing people to like everything I did. Though it’d be great to have people’s support, doesn’t mean I had to please everyone, right?

Why hadn’t I thought about it earlier?

After nearly a year, I could only come to that conclusion just now, by looking at the stars.

I closed my eyes. For a moment, I inhaled deeply.

I no longer wanted to please people.

This was my life. My personality, my relationship, my work… I didn’t want to hate it anymore. I was myself, and I wanted to love it completely. If people couldn’t accept it, it’s okay. Not everyone’s gonna love you, not everyone’s gonna hate you.

I opened my eyes, and felt awakened.

I made a call to someone important in the company to tell him something more important.

“I’m doing it,” I said while looking at tonight’s beautiful stars, “I’m doing my solo debut.”

For a moment, there was no reply. “Great. We have a song already—”

“No need one,” A melody had flashed in my head, “I’m going to write it myself.”

—

Hi!

It’s been pretty long since I wrote here the last time.

This is all I could write today. I want to thank the person who inspired me to write this story. Her dorky personality, her complicated problems, her new songs, all about her is empowering. She lets me (maybe you, too) know that there is a person just like me. I’m not alone. She chose to embrace her flaws and turns the table, awesome! She’s the only Korean artist that could’ve beaten Taylor and Selena as my favorites if only my love wasn’t so strong. ❤

Did you notice the #1 in the beginning of the story? Well yeah, I’m planning to write more with the title A Day in Seoul. Uh, I can’t spill all the plans for now, so I’m just gonna ask you guys to stay tune and keep visiting us here! I promise it’ll be interesting. :p

Like, comment and share maybe? Thanks the whole heart!

Love always,

Green